Behavior & Social

Toddler Kicks When Upset or During Tantrums

Medically reviewed by Dr. Emily Torres, PhD, CCC-SLP · Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist

Content reviewed against published Zero to Three, AAP, CDC guidelines

Editorial policy

Last reviewed:

Behavioral development varies greatly from child to child. If you have noticed toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums, here is what you need to know.

The short answer

Kicking is a common physical expression of big emotions in toddlers. Like hitting and biting, it stems from the gap between intense feelings and limited ability to express them verbally. Kicking often occurs during tantrums, diaper changes, or when being physically restrained. The approach is the same as for other physical aggression: stay calm, ensure safety, name the emotion, and teach alternatives consistently.

Key takeaways

  • Kicking is a common physical expression of big emotions in toddlers. Like hitting and biting, it stems from the gap between intense feelings and limited ability to express them verbally. Kicking often occurs during tantrums, diaper changes, or when being physically restrained. The approach is the same as for other physical aggression: stay calm, ensure safety, name the emotion, and teach alternatives consistently.
  • Usually normal when: Kicking during tantrums in toddlers aged 1-3
  • Call your doctor if: Your child injures others by kicking
  • Varies by age — see the age-by-age breakdown below

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What Parents Should Know

According to Zero to Three, AAP, CDC guidelines, kicking is a common physical expression of big emotions in toddlers. Like hitting and biting, it stems from the gap between intense feelings and limited ability to express them verbally. Kicking often occurs during tantrums, diaper changes, or when being physically restrained. The approach is the same as for other physical aggression: stay calm, ensure safety, name the emotion, and teach alternatives consistently. At 12-24 months, kicking at this age often happens during diaper changes or when a toddler is being held against their will. It is usually not targeted at a person but is a full-body expression of frustration. Keep yourself safe, stay calm, and get through the necessary task. Name the feeling: "You do not want your diaper changed. I understand.". It is generally considered normal when kicking during tantrums in toddlers aged 1-3. However, you should contact your pediatrician promptly if your child injures others by kicking.

Sources: [1], [2], [3]

Normal vs. Concerning

Usually Normal
Worth Discussing
Kicking during tantrums in toddlers aged 1-3
Your child injures others by kicking
Kicking that decreases as your child develops better coping skills
Aggressive behaviors are escalating and you cannot keep others safe
Kicking that occurs impulsively, not with planning or intent
Kicking is frequent and targeted at other children
Your child can be redirected after calming down
Your child kicks hard enough to injure others

By Age

What to expect by age

12-24 months

Kicking at this age often happens during diaper changes or when a toddler is being held against their will. It is usually not targeted at a person but is a full-body expression of frustration. Keep yourself safe, stay calm, and get through the necessary task. Name the feeling: "You do not want your diaper changed. I understand."

2-3 years

Kicking becomes more directed during tantrums. Your child may kick you, furniture, or other children. Create a safe space for your child to have big feelings. If they are kicking you, move out of range while staying present. "I am going to keep us both safe. I will stay right here but I will move back so you cannot kick me."

3-4 years

Teach specific alternatives: "If your body needs to kick, you can kick a pillow or stamp your feet on the floor." Practice these alternatives during calm moments. When kicking occurs, calmly redirect: "Remember, kick the pillow, not people."

4-5 years

Kicking should be rare by this age. If it persists, your child may need additional support with emotional regulation. Some children benefit from physical outlets like running, jumping on a trampoline, or other gross motor activities to channel physical energy from big emotions.

What to Tell Your Pediatrician

  • Describe when you first noticed toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums and how it has changed over time.
  • Note your baby's current age and which age-specific patterns you are seeing.
  • Mention if kicking is frequent and targeted at other children.
  • Mention if your child kicks hard enough to injure others.
  • Let your doctor know if you have noticed any related concerns, such as changes in feeding, sleep, or movement patterns.
  • Bring a list of any questions or observations you want to discuss at the appointment.

What Should You Do?

When to take action

Probably normal when...
  • Kicking during tantrums in toddlers aged 1-3
  • Kicking that decreases as your child develops better coping skills
  • Kicking that occurs impulsively, not with planning or intent
  • Your child can be redirected after calming down
Mention at your next visit when...
  • Kicking is frequent and targeted at other children
  • Your child kicks hard enough to injure others
  • Kicking increases rather than decreases with age
  • Kicking is part of a broader pattern of physical aggression
Act now when...
  • Your child injures others by kicking
  • Aggressive behaviors are escalating and you cannot keep others safe

What You Can Do at Home

  • Keep track of when you notice toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums — noting the time of day, duration, and any triggers can help your pediatrician.
  • Remember that kicking during tantrums in toddlers aged 1-3 — this is generally within the range of normal.
  • At 12-24 months, focus on observation rather than intervention unless your pediatrician advises otherwise.
  • Respond consistently and calmly to your baby's behavior. Maintain predictable daily routines.
  • While monitoring at home, seek immediate care if your child injures others by kicking.

Toddler Hits When Angry or Frustrated

Hitting is one of the most common toddler behaviors and is developmentally normal between ages 1-3. Your toddler hits because their emotions are bigger than their ability to manage them, and physical expression is their most available tool. Hitting does not mean your child is aggressive or that you are failing as a parent. Respond by calmly stopping the behavior, naming the emotion, and teaching alternatives over many, many repetitions.

Toddler Biting: When They Bite Others or Themselves

Biting is one of the most common and alarming toddler behaviors, but it is developmentally normal between ages 1-3. Toddlers bite because they lack the language to express frustration, excitement, or overwhelm. They are not being malicious. Most children outgrow biting by age 3-3.5 as their communication skills develop. In the meantime, respond consistently: remove the child, state the limit calmly, and help them express the underlying need.

Teaching Toddlers to Manage Anger

Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. The goal is not to prevent your toddler from feeling angry but to teach them safe ways to express and manage anger. Toddlers lack the brain development to regulate strong emotions independently - they need your calm, consistent coaching over many years. Punishing anger teaches children to suppress it rather than manage it.

Toddler Tantrums and Meltdowns

Tantrums are a completely normal and expected part of development, peaking between ages 1.5 and 3. They happen because the emotional centers of your toddler's brain are developing faster than the parts that control reasoning and impulse regulation. On average, toddlers have one tantrum per day, and each typically lasts 2-15 minutes.

Milestone

Month-by-Month Development

Detailed monthly development guides from birth through 24 months.

Guide

When to Call the Doctor

General guide on when to call the pediatrician, visit urgent care, or go to the ER.

Frequently asked questions

Is toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums normal?
Kicking is a common physical expression of big emotions in toddlers. Like hitting and biting, it stems from the gap between intense feelings and limited ability to express them verbally. Kicking often occurs during tantrums, diaper changes, or when being physically restrained. The approach is the same as for other physical aggression: stay calm, ensure safety, name the emotion, and teach alternatives consistently.
When should I call the doctor about toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums?
Your child injures others by kicking Aggressive behaviors are escalating and you cannot keep others safe
When is toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums normal?
Kicking during tantrums in toddlers aged 1-3 Kicking that decreases as your child develops better coping skills Kicking that occurs impulsively, not with planning or intent
What causes toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums?
Kicking is a common physical expression of big emotions in toddlers. Like hitting and biting, it stems from the gap between intense feelings and limited ability to express them verbally. Kicking often occurs during tantrums, diaper changes, or when being physically restrained. The approach is the same as for other physical aggression: stay calm, ensure safety, name the emotion, and teach alternatives consistently. Common explanations include: Kicking during tantrums in toddlers aged 1-3. Kicking that decreases as your child develops better coping skills.
What should I mention to my pediatrician about toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums?
You should mention toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums at your next visit if: Kicking is frequent and targeted at other children. Your child kicks hard enough to injure others. Kicking increases rather than decreases with age.
Is toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums normal at 12-24 months?
Kicking at this age often happens during diaper changes or when a toddler is being held against their will. It is usually not targeted at a person but is a full-body expression of frustration. Keep yourself safe, stay calm, and get through the necessary task. Name the feeling: "You do not want your diaper changed. I understand."
Is toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums normal at 2-3 years?
Kicking becomes more directed during tantrums. Your child may kick you, furniture, or other children. Create a safe space for your child to have big feelings. If they are kicking you, move out of range while staying present. "I am going to keep us both safe. I will stay right here but I will move back so you cannot kick me."
Should I go to the ER for toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums?
Seek emergency care if your child injures others by kicking, or if aggressive behaviors are escalating and you cannot keep others safe. When in doubt, call your pediatrician's after-hours line for guidance.
Does toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums go away on its own?
In many cases, toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums resolves on its own, especially when kicking during tantrums in toddlers aged 1-3. By 4-5 years, kicking should be rare by this age. If it persists, your child may need additional support with emotional regulation. Some children benefit from physical outlets like running, jumping on a trampoline, or other gross motor activities to channel physical energy from big emotions.
ZERO TO THREEAAPCDC

References

  1. [1]Zero to Three. Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers. Zero to Three
  2. [2]American Academy of Pediatrics. Aggressive Behavior. HealthyChildren.org. AAP
  3. [3]Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Positive Parenting Tips. CDC

Doctor Visit Checklist

Bring this checklist to your next pediatrician visit to discuss Toddler Kicks When Upset or During Tantrums.

Things to mention

  • Describe when you first noticed toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums and how it has changed over time.
  • Note your baby's current age and which age-specific patterns you are seeing.
  • Mention if kicking is frequent and targeted at other children.
  • Mention if your child kicks hard enough to injure others.
  • Let your doctor know if you have noticed any related concerns, such as changes in feeding, sleep, or movement patterns.
  • Bring a list of any questions or observations you want to discuss at the appointment.

Observations to share

  • Kicking is frequent and targeted at other children
  • Your child kicks hard enough to injure others
  • Kicking increases rather than decreases with age

Urgent signs to report immediately

  • Your child injures others by kicking
  • Aggressive behaviors are escalating and you cannot keep others safe

My notes

From ismybabyalright.com — free, evidence-based baby health guides

All content follows our editorial policy and is reviewed against published clinical guidelines.

2,705 evidence-based guides6 authoritative medical sources5 medical advisory board members

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Bottom line

Most cases of toddler kicks when upset or during tantrums are normal. Talk to your pediatrician if your child injures others by kicking.

Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, reach out to your pediatrician. Worrying about your baby means you care — that is a good thing.

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Toddler Hits When Angry or Frustrated

Hitting is one of the most common toddler behaviors and is developmentally normal between ages 1-3. Your toddler hits because their emotions are bigger than their ability to manage them, and physical expression is their most available tool. Hitting does not mean your child is aggressive or that you are failing as a parent. Respond by calmly stopping the behavior, naming the emotion, and teaching alternatives over many, many repetitions.

Toddler Biting: When They Bite Others or Themselves

Biting is one of the most common and alarming toddler behaviors, but it is developmentally normal between ages 1-3. Toddlers bite because they lack the language to express frustration, excitement, or overwhelm. They are not being malicious. Most children outgrow biting by age 3-3.5 as their communication skills develop. In the meantime, respond consistently: remove the child, state the limit calmly, and help them express the underlying need.

Teaching Toddlers to Manage Anger

Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. The goal is not to prevent your toddler from feeling angry but to teach them safe ways to express and manage anger. Toddlers lack the brain development to regulate strong emotions independently - they need your calm, consistent coaching over many years. Punishing anger teaches children to suppress it rather than manage it.

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