Toddler Spitting at People
Medically reviewed by Dr. Emily Torres, PhD, CCC-SLP · Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist
Content reviewed against published AAP, Zero to Three, CDC guidelines
Last reviewed:
Behavioral development varies greatly from child to child. If you have noticed toddler spitting at people, here is what you need to know.
The short answer
Spitting is an unpleasant but common toddler behavior. Young toddlers discover spitting as a fun new skill and experiment with it. Older toddlers may spit when angry because it gets a strong reaction. The key is to stay calm (difficult, we know), avoid overreacting (which reinforces the behavior), set a clear limit, and redirect. For most children, spitting is a brief phase that passes.
Key takeaways
- Spitting is an unpleasant but common toddler behavior. Young toddlers discover spitting as a fun new skill and experiment with it. Older toddlers may spit when angry because it gets a strong reaction. The key is to stay calm (difficult, we know), avoid overreacting (which reinforces the behavior), set a clear limit, and redirect. For most children, spitting is a brief phase that passes.
- Usually normal when: Brief spitting phase in young toddlers exploring a new ability
- Call your doctor if: Spitting is accompanied by other escalating aggressive behaviors
- Varies by age — see the age-by-age breakdown below
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What Parents Should Know
According to AAP, Zero to Three, CDC guidelines, spitting is an unpleasant but common toddler behavior. Young toddlers discover spitting as a fun new skill and experiment with it. Older toddlers may spit when angry because it gets a strong reaction. The key is to stay calm (difficult, we know), avoid overreacting (which reinforces the behavior), set a clear limit, and redirect. For most children, spitting is a brief phase that passes. At 12-24 months, young toddlers often discover spitting accidentally and then repeat it because it is a new and interesting sensation. They may spit food, water, or saliva. This is exploratory, not aggressive. A calm "We do not spit" is sufficient. Avoid a big reaction, which makes it more interesting. It is generally considered normal when brief spitting phase in young toddlers exploring a new ability. However, you should contact your pediatrician promptly if spitting is accompanied by other escalating aggressive behaviors.
Normal vs. Concerning
By Age
What to expect by age
12-24 months
Young toddlers often discover spitting accidentally and then repeat it because it is a new and interesting sensation. They may spit food, water, or saliva. This is exploratory, not aggressive. A calm "We do not spit" is sufficient. Avoid a big reaction, which makes it more interesting.
2-3 years
Spitting may become a go-to expression of anger or frustration. Some children spit because it provokes a strong reaction from adults and peers. Stay calm, make brief eye contact, and say firmly: "Spitting is not okay. If you are angry, you can use your words." Then redirect.
3-4 years
If spitting persists, use natural consequences: if your child spits during a meal, the meal is over. If they spit at a friend, the playdate ends. Be consistent. "When you spit, we need to leave because spitting is not safe for others."
4-5 years
Spitting should be rare by this age. If your child is still spitting frequently, look at what function the behavior serves. Is it getting attention? Is it expressing anger they cannot otherwise communicate? Address the underlying need.
What to Tell Your Pediatrician
- Describe when you first noticed toddler spitting at people and how it has changed over time.
- Note your baby's current age and which age-specific patterns you are seeing.
- Mention if spitting is very frequent and directed at others.
- Mention if spitting continues despite consistent intervention over weeks.
- Let your doctor know if you have noticed any related concerns, such as changes in feeding, sleep, or movement patterns.
- Bring a list of any questions or observations you want to discuss at the appointment.
What Should You Do?
When to take action
- Brief spitting phase in young toddlers exploring a new ability
- Spitting that stops when you do not give it a big reaction
- Spitting during moments of anger that decreases with consistent limits
- Your child does not spit at peers in social settings
- Spitting is very frequent and directed at others
- Spitting continues despite consistent intervention over weeks
- Spitting is part of a pattern of disruptive behaviors
- Your child spits in social settings causing relationship problems
- Spitting is accompanied by other escalating aggressive behaviors
- Your child is being excluded from care settings due to spitting
What You Can Do at Home
- Keep track of when you notice toddler spitting at people — noting the time of day, duration, and any triggers can help your pediatrician.
- Remember that brief spitting phase in young toddlers exploring a new ability — this is generally within the range of normal.
- At 12-24 months, focus on observation rather than intervention unless your pediatrician advises otherwise.
- Respond consistently and calmly to your baby's behavior. Maintain predictable daily routines.
- While monitoring at home, seek immediate care if spitting is accompanied by other escalating aggressive behaviors.
Related Conditions
Toddler Hits When Angry or Frustrated
Hitting is one of the most common toddler behaviors and is developmentally normal between ages 1-3. Your toddler hits because their emotions are bigger than their ability to manage them, and physical expression is their most available tool. Hitting does not mean your child is aggressive or that you are failing as a parent. Respond by calmly stopping the behavior, naming the emotion, and teaching alternatives over many, many repetitions.
Toddler Constantly Tests Boundaries and Limits
Testing limits is one of the most important jobs of a toddler. When your child looks at you and deliberately does the thing you said not to do, they are running an experiment: "Is this rule real? Is it the same every time? Does it apply with all adults?" Consistent, calm enforcement of boundaries actually makes children feel safer. They need to test the fence to know it is sturdy.
Toddler Throws Things at People
Throwing is actually a developmental milestone - it requires coordination and motor planning. Young toddlers throw to explore cause and effect. Older toddlers throw when frustrated because it is a powerful physical release. The goal is not to stop all throwing but to teach what can be thrown (balls outside) and what cannot (toys at people). Channel the urge rather than eliminate it.
Teaching Toddlers to Manage Anger
Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. The goal is not to prevent your toddler from feeling angry but to teach them safe ways to express and manage anger. Toddlers lack the brain development to regulate strong emotions independently - they need your calm, consistent coaching over many years. Punishing anger teaches children to suppress it rather than manage it.
Related Resources
Frequently asked questions
Is toddler spitting at people normal?
When should I call the doctor about toddler spitting at people?
When is toddler spitting at people normal?
What causes toddler spitting at people?
What should I mention to my pediatrician about toddler spitting at people?
Is toddler spitting at people normal at 12-24 months?
Is toddler spitting at people normal at 2-3 years?
Should I go to the ER for toddler spitting at people?
Does toddler spitting at people go away on its own?
References
- [1]American Academy of Pediatrics. How to Shape and Manage Your Child's Behavior. HealthyChildren.org. AAP
- [2]Zero to Three. Challenging Behaviors: Understanding and Responding. Zero to Three
- [3]Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Positive Parenting Tips. CDC
Doctor Visit Checklist
Bring this checklist to your next pediatrician visit to discuss Toddler Spitting at People.
Things to mention
- Describe when you first noticed toddler spitting at people and how it has changed over time.
- Note your baby's current age and which age-specific patterns you are seeing.
- Mention if spitting is very frequent and directed at others.
- Mention if spitting continues despite consistent intervention over weeks.
- Let your doctor know if you have noticed any related concerns, such as changes in feeding, sleep, or movement patterns.
- Bring a list of any questions or observations you want to discuss at the appointment.
Observations to share
- Spitting is very frequent and directed at others
- Spitting continues despite consistent intervention over weeks
- Spitting is part of a pattern of disruptive behaviors
Urgent signs to report immediately
- Spitting is accompanied by other escalating aggressive behaviors
- Your child is being excluded from care settings due to spitting
My notes
From ismybabyalright.com — free, evidence-based baby health guides
All content follows our editorial policy and is reviewed against published clinical guidelines.
2,705 evidence-based guides6 authoritative medical sources5 medical advisory board members
Related Resources
Bottom line
Most cases of toddler spitting at people are normal. Talk to your pediatrician if spitting is accompanied by other escalating aggressive behaviors.
Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, reach out to your pediatrician. Worrying about your baby means you care — that is a good thing.
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Related Behavior Concerns
Toddler Hits When Angry or Frustrated
Hitting is one of the most common toddler behaviors and is developmentally normal between ages 1-3. Your toddler hits because their emotions are bigger than their ability to manage them, and physical expression is their most available tool. Hitting does not mean your child is aggressive or that you are failing as a parent. Respond by calmly stopping the behavior, naming the emotion, and teaching alternatives over many, many repetitions.
Toddler Constantly Tests Boundaries and Limits
Testing limits is one of the most important jobs of a toddler. When your child looks at you and deliberately does the thing you said not to do, they are running an experiment: "Is this rule real? Is it the same every time? Does it apply with all adults?" Consistent, calm enforcement of boundaries actually makes children feel safer. They need to test the fence to know it is sturdy.
Toddler Throws Things at People
Throwing is actually a developmental milestone - it requires coordination and motor planning. Young toddlers throw to explore cause and effect. Older toddlers throw when frustrated because it is a powerful physical release. The goal is not to stop all throwing but to teach what can be thrown (balls outside) and what cannot (toys at people). Channel the urge rather than eliminate it.
Teaching Toddlers to Manage Anger
Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. The goal is not to prevent your toddler from feeling angry but to teach them safe ways to express and manage anger. Toddlers lack the brain development to regulate strong emotions independently - they need your calm, consistent coaching over many years. Punishing anger teaches children to suppress it rather than manage it.
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Aggressive Play vs Normal Play
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