Toddler Pulls Hair
Medically reviewed by Dr. Emily Torres, PhD, CCC-SLP · Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist
Content reviewed against published Zero to Three, AAP, NIH guidelines
Last reviewed:
Behavioral development varies greatly from child to child. If you have noticed toddler pulls hair, here is what you need to know.
The short answer
Hair pulling is common in babies and toddlers. Young babies pull hair because they are fascinated by grasping and do not understand it hurts. Toddlers may pull hair during conflicts, out of frustration, or because it gets a strong reaction. Some children also pull their own hair as a self-soothing or stress behavior. The response depends on the age and motivation.
Key takeaways
- Hair pulling is common in babies and toddlers. Young babies pull hair because they are fascinated by grasping and do not understand it hurts. Toddlers may pull hair during conflicts, out of frustration, or because it gets a strong reaction. Some children also pull their own hair as a self-soothing or stress behavior. The response depends on the age and motivation.
- Usually normal when: Babies grabbing and pulling hair as part of exploration
- Call your doctor if: Your child is causing injury through hair pulling
- Varies by age — see the age-by-age breakdown below
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What Parents Should Know
According to Zero to Three, AAP, NIH guidelines, hair pulling is common in babies and toddlers. Young babies pull hair because they are fascinated by grasping and do not understand it hurts. Toddlers may pull hair during conflicts, out of frustration, or because it gets a strong reaction. Some children also pull their own hair as a self-soothing or stress behavior. The response depends on the age and motivation. At 6-12 months, babies grab and pull hair as part of normal motor exploration. They are practicing their grasp and do not understand they are causing pain. Calmly unwrap their fingers, say "Gentle" and guide their hand to pat instead. Keep your hair tied back if possible. It is generally considered normal when babies grabbing and pulling hair as part of exploration. However, you should contact your pediatrician promptly if your child is causing injury through hair pulling.
Normal vs. Concerning
By Age
What to expect by age
6-12 months
Babies grab and pull hair as part of normal motor exploration. They are practicing their grasp and do not understand they are causing pain. Calmly unwrap their fingers, say "Gentle" and guide their hand to pat instead. Keep your hair tied back if possible.
12-24 months
Hair pulling can become a go-to behavior during frustration or conflict because it is effective - the other person reacts strongly. Stay calm to avoid reinforcing the behavior with a big reaction. Gently remove their hand, say "No pulling hair. That hurts." and redirect.
2-3 years
If hair pulling continues, work on teaching alternatives. Some children pull their own hair when stressed, which is a different behavior that may need monitoring. For peer hair-pulling, stay close during play and intervene early when you see frustration building.
3-5 years
Hair pulling of others should be rare by this age. If your child pulls their own hair, creating bald patches or doing it frequently when stressed, this could be trichotillomania and should be discussed with your pediatrician.
What to Tell Your Pediatrician
- Describe when you first noticed toddler pulls hair and how it has changed over time.
- Note your baby's current age and which age-specific patterns you are seeing.
- Mention if your child pulls their own hair frequently, creating bald patches.
- Mention if hair pulling of others continues past age 3.
- Let your doctor know if you have noticed any related concerns, such as changes in feeding, sleep, or movement patterns.
- Bring a list of any questions or observations you want to discuss at the appointment.
What Should You Do?
When to take action
- Babies grabbing and pulling hair as part of exploration
- Occasional hair pulling during toddler conflicts
- Hair pulling decreases as communication skills develop
- Your child can be redirected after the behavior
- Your child pulls their own hair frequently, creating bald patches
- Hair pulling of others continues past age 3
- Hair pulling is part of a broader pattern of aggressive behavior
- Your child pulls hair in a ritualistic or compulsive way
- Your child is causing injury through hair pulling
- Your child has noticeable hair loss from pulling their own hair
What You Can Do at Home
- Keep track of when you notice toddler pulls hair — noting the time of day, duration, and any triggers can help your pediatrician.
- Remember that babies grabbing and pulling hair as part of exploration — this is generally within the range of normal.
- At 6-12 months, focus on observation rather than intervention unless your pediatrician advises otherwise.
- Respond consistently and calmly to your baby's behavior. Maintain predictable daily routines.
- While monitoring at home, seek immediate care if your child is causing injury through hair pulling.
Related Conditions
Toddler Scratches Others When Upset
Scratching is a common form of physical aggression in toddlers, often occurring alongside hitting and biting. Like other physical behaviors, it stems from frustration and limited communication skills. Keeping nails trimmed short can reduce injury while you work on teaching alternatives. The same approach applies as with other physical aggression: stay calm, stop the behavior, name the feeling, and teach what to do instead.
Toddler Pinches Others
Pinching is a common toddler behavior that usually emerges between 12-30 months. Like other forms of physical aggression, it happens because toddlers experience emotions they cannot yet express with words. Pinching can also be a sensory-seeking behavior or an attempt to get a reaction. The key is consistent, calm intervention: stop the behavior, name the feeling, and teach an alternative.
Toddler Hits When Angry or Frustrated
Hitting is one of the most common toddler behaviors and is developmentally normal between ages 1-3. Your toddler hits because their emotions are bigger than their ability to manage them, and physical expression is their most available tool. Hitting does not mean your child is aggressive or that you are failing as a parent. Respond by calmly stopping the behavior, naming the emotion, and teaching alternatives over many, many repetitions.
Teaching Toddlers Gentle Hands and Gentle Touch
Teaching "gentle hands" is one of the most important and most repeated lessons of the toddler years. Young children genuinely do not understand their own strength or that their actions cause pain. Gentle touch must be actively taught and demonstrated hundreds of times. It is a skill that develops gradually through patient, consistent modeling and practice - not through punishment.
Related Resources
Frequently asked questions
Is toddler pulls hair normal?
When should I call the doctor about toddler pulls hair?
When is toddler pulls hair normal?
What causes toddler pulls hair?
What should I mention to my pediatrician about toddler pulls hair?
Is toddler pulls hair normal at 6-12 months?
Is toddler pulls hair normal at 12-24 months?
Should I go to the ER for toddler pulls hair?
Does toddler pulls hair go away on its own?
References
- [1]Zero to Three. Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers. Zero to Three
- [2]American Academy of Pediatrics. Habits. HealthyChildren.org. AAP
- [3]Franklin ME et al. Trichotillomania and its treatment: a review and recommendations. Expert Rev Neurother. 2011;11(8):1165-1174. NIH
Doctor Visit Checklist
Bring this checklist to your next pediatrician visit to discuss Toddler Pulls Hair.
Things to mention
- Describe when you first noticed toddler pulls hair and how it has changed over time.
- Note your baby's current age and which age-specific patterns you are seeing.
- Mention if your child pulls their own hair frequently, creating bald patches.
- Mention if hair pulling of others continues past age 3.
- Let your doctor know if you have noticed any related concerns, such as changes in feeding, sleep, or movement patterns.
- Bring a list of any questions or observations you want to discuss at the appointment.
Observations to share
- Your child pulls their own hair frequently, creating bald patches
- Hair pulling of others continues past age 3
- Hair pulling is part of a broader pattern of aggressive behavior
Urgent signs to report immediately
- Your child is causing injury through hair pulling
- Your child has noticeable hair loss from pulling their own hair
My notes
From ismybabyalright.com — free, evidence-based baby health guides
All content follows our editorial policy and is reviewed against published clinical guidelines.
2,705 evidence-based guides6 authoritative medical sources5 medical advisory board members
Related Resources
Bottom line
Most cases of toddler pulls hair are normal. Talk to your pediatrician if your child is causing injury through hair pulling.
Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, reach out to your pediatrician. Worrying about your baby means you care — that is a good thing.
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Related Behavior Concerns
Toddler Scratches Others When Upset
Scratching is a common form of physical aggression in toddlers, often occurring alongside hitting and biting. Like other physical behaviors, it stems from frustration and limited communication skills. Keeping nails trimmed short can reduce injury while you work on teaching alternatives. The same approach applies as with other physical aggression: stay calm, stop the behavior, name the feeling, and teach what to do instead.
Toddler Pinches Others
Pinching is a common toddler behavior that usually emerges between 12-30 months. Like other forms of physical aggression, it happens because toddlers experience emotions they cannot yet express with words. Pinching can also be a sensory-seeking behavior or an attempt to get a reaction. The key is consistent, calm intervention: stop the behavior, name the feeling, and teach an alternative.
Toddler Hits When Angry or Frustrated
Hitting is one of the most common toddler behaviors and is developmentally normal between ages 1-3. Your toddler hits because their emotions are bigger than their ability to manage them, and physical expression is their most available tool. Hitting does not mean your child is aggressive or that you are failing as a parent. Respond by calmly stopping the behavior, naming the emotion, and teaching alternatives over many, many repetitions.
Teaching Toddlers Gentle Hands and Gentle Touch
Teaching "gentle hands" is one of the most important and most repeated lessons of the toddler years. Young children genuinely do not understand their own strength or that their actions cause pain. Gentle touch must be actively taught and demonstrated hundreds of times. It is a skill that develops gradually through patient, consistent modeling and practice - not through punishment.
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