Toddler Pushing Other Children
Medically reviewed by Dr. Emily Torres, PhD, CCC-SLP · Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist
Content reviewed against published AAP, CDC, Zero to Three guidelines
Last reviewed:
Behavioral development varies greatly from child to child. If you have noticed toddler pushing other children, here is what you need to know.
The short answer
Pushing is one of the most common physical behaviors in toddlers, especially between 18 months and 3 years. It usually happens because toddlers are still learning how to share space, express frustration, and communicate their needs with words. While it can be embarrassing and worrying, pushing at this age is a normal part of social development and almost always improves as language and emotional regulation skills grow.
Key takeaways
- Pushing is one of the most common physical behaviors in toddlers, especially between 18 months and 3 years. It usually happens because toddlers are still learning how to share space, express frustration, and communicate their needs with words. While it can be embarrassing and worrying, pushing at this age is a normal part of social development and almost always improves as language and emotional regulation skills grow.
- Usually normal when: Your toddler pushes occasionally during conflicts over toys, space, or turns and responds to redirection
- Call your doctor if: Your child's pushing is causing injuries to other children or is accompanied by sudden behavioral regression or personality changes
- Varies by age — see the age-by-age breakdown below
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What Parents Should Know
According to AAP, CDC, Zero to Three guidelines, pushing is one of the most common physical behaviors in toddlers, especially between 18 months and 3 years. It usually happens because toddlers are still learning how to share space, express frustration, and communicate their needs with words. While it can be embarrassing and worrying, pushing at this age is a normal part of social development and almost always improves as language and emotional regulation skills grow. At 12-18 months, at this age, pushing is often not intentional aggression at all. Babies are learning to navigate physical space around other children and may push simply to create distance, explore cause and effect, or because they lack the motor control to interact gently. Modeling gentle touch ("soft hands") and staying close during peer interactions helps set the foundation for appropriate social behavior. It is generally considered normal when your toddler pushes occasionally during conflicts over toys, space, or turns and responds to redirection. However, you should contact your pediatrician promptly if your child's pushing is causing injuries to other children or is accompanied by sudden behavioral regression or personality changes.
Normal vs. Concerning
By Age
What to expect by age
12-18 months
At this age, pushing is often not intentional aggression at all. Babies are learning to navigate physical space around other children and may push simply to create distance, explore cause and effect, or because they lack the motor control to interact gently. Modeling gentle touch ("soft hands") and staying close during peer interactions helps set the foundation for appropriate social behavior.
18 months - 2 years
This is the peak age for pushing. Toddlers want things immediately, have very limited impulse control, and cannot yet use words to say "move" or "that is mine." Pushing is their fastest available tool. Stay close during playdates and intervene calmly by getting down to their level: "I won't let you push. Pushing hurts. You can say 'move please.'" Consistent, brief responses are more effective than long explanations.
2-3 years
Pushing should gradually decrease as your child develops more language and begins to understand basic social rules. You can start coaching in the moment: "Tell your friend 'I need space' instead of pushing." Role-playing social scenarios at home can also help. Some pushing during high-energy or crowded situations is still expected and does not mean your child is aggressive.
3-4 years
By age 3-4, most children have enough language and social understanding to use words instead of pushing most of the time. If pushing is still frequent, intense, or happening without any apparent trigger, it may be helpful to talk with your pediatrician. They can assess whether there are underlying sensory, communication, or emotional factors that need support.
What to Tell Your Pediatrician
- Describe when you first noticed toddler pushing other children and how it has changed over time.
- Note your baby's current age and which age-specific patterns you are seeing.
- Mention if pushing is happening very frequently throughout the day and is not decreasing over several weeks despite consistent intervention.
- Mention if your child seems to push without provocation and does not respond to redirection or show concern for other children.
- Bring a list of any questions or observations you want to discuss at the appointment.
What Should You Do?
When to take action
- Your toddler pushes occasionally during conflicts over toys, space, or turns and responds to redirection
- Pushing happens mainly in crowded, overstimulating, or unfamiliar social situations
- Your child is between 18 months and 3 years and the behavior is gradually decreasing as language develops
- Your toddler shows remorse or concern after pushing when you point out the other child is upset
- Pushing is happening very frequently throughout the day and is not decreasing over several weeks despite consistent intervention
- Your child seems to push without provocation and does not respond to redirection or show concern for other children
- Pushing is accompanied by other persistent aggressive behaviors like biting, hitting, or kicking that are escalating
- Your child's pushing is causing injuries to other children or is accompanied by sudden behavioral regression or personality changes
- You are concerned that your child may be experiencing something stressful that is driving the behavior, such as a change in environment or possible mistreatment
What You Can Do at Home
- Keep track of when you notice toddler pushing other children — noting the time of day, duration, and any triggers can help your pediatrician.
- Remember that your toddler pushes occasionally during conflicts over toys, space, or turns and responds to redirection — this is generally within the range of normal.
- At 12-18 months, focus on observation rather than intervention unless your pediatrician advises otherwise.
- Respond consistently and calmly to your baby's behavior. Maintain predictable daily routines.
- While monitoring at home, seek immediate care if your child's pushing is causing injuries to other children or is accompanied by sudden behavioral regression or personality changes.
Related Resources
Milestone Checklists by Age
Track your baby's developmental milestones from birth to 5 years with age-specific checklists.
Month-by-Month Development
Detailed monthly development guides from birth through 24 months.
When to Call the Doctor
General guide on when to call the pediatrician, visit urgent care, or go to the ER.
Frequently asked questions
Is toddler pushing other children normal?
When should I call the doctor about toddler pushing other children?
When is toddler pushing other children normal?
What causes toddler pushing other children?
What should I mention to my pediatrician about toddler pushing other children?
Is toddler pushing other children normal at 12-18 months?
Is toddler pushing other children normal at 18 months - 2 years?
Should I go to the ER for toddler pushing other children?
Does toddler pushing other children go away on its own?
References
- [1]American Academy of Pediatrics. Aggressive Behavior. HealthyChildren.org. AAP
- [2]Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Positive Parenting Tips: Toddlers (1-2 years). CDC
- [3]Zero to Three. Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers. Zero to Three
Doctor Visit Checklist
Bring this checklist to your next pediatrician visit to discuss Toddler Pushing Other Children.
Things to mention
- Describe when you first noticed toddler pushing other children and how it has changed over time.
- Note your baby's current age and which age-specific patterns you are seeing.
- Mention if pushing is happening very frequently throughout the day and is not decreasing over several weeks despite consistent intervention.
- Mention if your child seems to push without provocation and does not respond to redirection or show concern for other children.
- Bring a list of any questions or observations you want to discuss at the appointment.
Observations to share
- Pushing is happening very frequently throughout the day and is not decreasing over several weeks despite consistent intervention
- Your child seems to push without provocation and does not respond to redirection or show concern for other children
- Pushing is accompanied by other persistent aggressive behaviors like biting, hitting, or kicking that are escalating
Urgent signs to report immediately
- Your child's pushing is causing injuries to other children or is accompanied by sudden behavioral regression or personality changes
- You are concerned that your child may be experiencing something stressful that is driving the behavior, such as a change in environment or possible mistreatment
My notes
From ismybabyalright.com — free, evidence-based baby health guides
All content follows our editorial policy and is reviewed against published clinical guidelines.
2,705 evidence-based guides6 authoritative medical sources5 medical advisory board members
Related Resources
Bottom line
Most cases of toddler pushing other children are normal. Talk to your pediatrician if your child's pushing is causing injuries to other children or is accompanied by sudden behavioral regression or personality changes.
Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, reach out to your pediatrician. Worrying about your baby means you care — that is a good thing.
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