Toddler Not Showing Empathy
Medically reviewed by Dr. Emily Torres, PhD, CCC-SLP · Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist
Content reviewed against published Zero to Three, AAP, CDC guidelines
Last reviewed:
Behavioral development varies greatly from child to child. If you have noticed toddler not showing empathy, here is what you need to know.
The short answer
Empathy develops gradually. Babies may become distressed when others cry (emotional contagion) as early as 6 months. By 18 to 24 months, toddlers begin showing concern for others and may try to comfort them. Empathy is not fully developed in toddlers, and some children show it later than others. If your child shows no awareness of or response to others' distress by age 3, mention this to your pediatrician.
Key takeaways
- Empathy develops gradually. Babies may become distressed when others cry (emotional contagion) as early as 6 months. By 18 to 24 months, toddlers begin showing concern for others and may try to comfort them. Empathy is not fully developed in toddlers, and some children show it later than others. If your child shows no awareness of or response to others' distress by age 3, mention this to your pediatrician.
- Usually normal when: Your toddler is under 2 and empathic responses are still developing
- Call your doctor if: Your child actively appears to enjoy others' distress
- Varies by age — see the age-by-age breakdown below
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What Parents Should Know
According to Zero to Three, AAP, CDC guidelines, empathy develops gradually. Babies may become distressed when others cry (emotional contagion) as early as 6 months. By 18 to 24 months, toddlers begin showing concern for others and may try to comfort them. Empathy is not fully developed in toddlers, and some children show it later than others. If your child shows no awareness of or response to others' distress by age 3, mention this to your pediatrician. At 6-12 months, babies may cry when they hear another baby cry. This is emotional contagion, a precursor to empathy. True empathy has not yet developed. It is generally considered normal when your toddler is under 2 and empathic responses are still developing. However, you should contact your pediatrician promptly if your child actively appears to enjoy others' distress.
Normal vs. Concerning
By Age
What to expect by age
6-12 months
Babies may cry when they hear another baby cry. This is emotional contagion, a precursor to empathy. True empathy has not yet developed.
12-18 months
Toddlers begin to notice others' distress and may look concerned. They do not yet know how to help but may bring their own comfort object to an upset person.
18-24 months
Empathic responses become more visible. Toddlers may pat someone who is crying, bring a blanket, or look sad when others are upset. Not all toddlers show these behaviors at the same age.
24-36 months
Children increasingly try to comfort others by offering hugs, saying soothing words, or getting help. If your child seems entirely unaware of others' emotions by this age, it is worth noting.
3-5 years
Empathy becomes more sophisticated. Children understand that others have different feelings and try to respond appropriately. Persistent lack of empathic response may indicate social cognition differences.
What to Tell Your Pediatrician
- Describe when you first noticed toddler not showing empathy and how it has changed over time.
- Note your baby's current age and which age-specific patterns you are seeing.
- Mention if your child is over 3 and seems completely unaware when others are upset or in pain.
- Mention if your child never attempts to comfort anyone, even family members.
- Let your doctor know if you have noticed any related concerns, such as changes in feeding, sleep, or movement patterns.
- Bring a list of any questions or observations you want to discuss at the appointment.
What Should You Do?
When to take action
- Your toddler is under 2 and empathic responses are still developing
- Your toddler notices others' distress but does not yet know how to respond
- Your toddler shows empathy with family but not with less familiar people
- Your toddler sometimes responds empathically and sometimes does not
- Your child is over 3 and seems completely unaware when others are upset or in pain
- Your child never attempts to comfort anyone, even family members
- Absent empathy is combined with other social communication concerns
- Your child actively appears to enjoy others' distress
- Your child had empathic responses and has lost them alongside other skill regression
What You Can Do at Home
- Keep track of when you notice toddler not showing empathy — noting the time of day, duration, and any triggers can help your pediatrician.
- Remember that your toddler is under 2 and empathic responses are still developing — this is generally within the range of normal.
- At 6-12 months, focus on observation rather than intervention unless your pediatrician advises otherwise.
- Respond consistently and calmly to your baby's behavior. Maintain predictable daily routines.
- While monitoring at home, seek immediate care if your child actively appears to enjoy others' distress.
Related Conditions
Toddler Cannot Read Other People's Feelings
Understanding others' emotions develops gradually throughout toddlerhood. By 18 months, most children can recognize basic emotions like happy and sad in familiar people. By age 3 to 4, children can name emotions and respond appropriately. If your child seems consistently unaware of others' emotional states by age 3, this may indicate a social cognition difference.
Toddler Doesn't Try to Comfort Upset People
Comforting behaviors typically emerge between 18 and 30 months as part of developing empathy and prosocial skills. Young toddlers may bring their own blanket to a crying sibling, while older toddlers may hug or say soothing words. Some children are naturally less demonstrative. If your child seems completely unaware of or indifferent to others' distress by age 3, discuss it with your pediatrician.
Baby Not Responding to Facial Expressions
Responding to facial expressions is an important social communication milestone. By 2-3 months, most babies smile back when smiled at. By 6-9 months, they start reading emotions and responding differently to happy, sad, or angry faces. By 12 months, babies use "social referencing" - looking at a parent's face to gauge whether something is safe. Not responding to facial expressions can be a normal variation, especially in younger babies, but persistent lack of social engagement warrants discussion with your pediatrician.
Related Resources
Milestone Checklists by Age
Track your baby's developmental milestones from birth to 5 years with age-specific checklists.
Excessive Crying Triage
Determine whether crying patterns need medical attention.
Month-by-Month Development
Detailed monthly development guides from birth through 24 months.
When to Call the Doctor
General guide on when to call the pediatrician, visit urgent care, or go to the ER.
Frequently asked questions
Is toddler not showing empathy normal?
When should I call the doctor about toddler not showing empathy?
When is toddler not showing empathy normal?
What causes toddler not showing empathy?
What should I mention to my pediatrician about toddler not showing empathy?
Is toddler not showing empathy normal at 6-12 months?
Is toddler not showing empathy normal at 12-18 months?
Should I go to the ER for toddler not showing empathy?
Does toddler not showing empathy go away on its own?
References
- [1]Zero to Three. How to Support Your Child's Developing Empathy. Zero to Three
- [2]American Academy of Pediatrics. Social-Emotional Development. HealthyChildren.org. AAP
- [3]Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Child Development Milestones. CDC
Doctor Visit Checklist
Bring this checklist to your next pediatrician visit to discuss Toddler Not Showing Empathy.
Things to mention
- Describe when you first noticed toddler not showing empathy and how it has changed over time.
- Note your baby's current age and which age-specific patterns you are seeing.
- Mention if your child is over 3 and seems completely unaware when others are upset or in pain.
- Mention if your child never attempts to comfort anyone, even family members.
- Let your doctor know if you have noticed any related concerns, such as changes in feeding, sleep, or movement patterns.
- Bring a list of any questions or observations you want to discuss at the appointment.
Observations to share
- Your child is over 3 and seems completely unaware when others are upset or in pain
- Your child never attempts to comfort anyone, even family members
- Absent empathy is combined with other social communication concerns
Urgent signs to report immediately
- Your child actively appears to enjoy others' distress
- Your child had empathic responses and has lost them alongside other skill regression
My notes
From ismybabyalright.com — free, evidence-based baby health guides
All content follows our editorial policy and is reviewed against published clinical guidelines.
2,705 evidence-based guides6 authoritative medical sources5 medical advisory board members
Related Resources
Bottom line
Most cases of toddler not showing empathy are normal. Talk to your pediatrician if your child actively appears to enjoy others' distress.
Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, reach out to your pediatrician. Worrying about your baby means you care — that is a good thing.
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Toddler Cannot Read Other People's Feelings
Understanding others' emotions develops gradually throughout toddlerhood. By 18 months, most children can recognize basic emotions like happy and sad in familiar people. By age 3 to 4, children can name emotions and respond appropriately. If your child seems consistently unaware of others' emotional states by age 3, this may indicate a social cognition difference.
Toddler Doesn't Try to Comfort Upset People
Comforting behaviors typically emerge between 18 and 30 months as part of developing empathy and prosocial skills. Young toddlers may bring their own blanket to a crying sibling, while older toddlers may hug or say soothing words. Some children are naturally less demonstrative. If your child seems completely unaware of or indifferent to others' distress by age 3, discuss it with your pediatrician.
Baby Not Responding to Facial Expressions
Responding to facial expressions is an important social communication milestone. By 2-3 months, most babies smile back when smiled at. By 6-9 months, they start reading emotions and responding differently to happy, sad, or angry faces. By 12 months, babies use "social referencing" - looking at a parent's face to gauge whether something is safe. Not responding to facial expressions can be a normal variation, especially in younger babies, but persistent lack of social engagement warrants discussion with your pediatrician.
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