Toddler Hitting or Banging Their Own Head
The short answer
Head banging and self-hitting are surprisingly common behaviors in babies and toddlers, affecting up to 20% of healthy children. Most head banging is a self-soothing behavior, similar to thumb sucking or rocking, and often occurs at bedtime or during frustration. It typically starts around 6-9 months and peaks between 18-24 months. Most children outgrow head banging by age 3-4. While alarming to witness, children rarely hurt themselves from typical head banging, and it is not usually a sign of a developmental problem.
By Age
What to expect by age
Rhythmic head banging often starts around 6-9 months. Babies may bang their head against the crib mattress, pillow, or headboard at bedtime as a self-soothing mechanism. The rhythmic motion is calming, similar to being rocked. Some babies also rock their whole body. This behavior can be distressing for parents but is a normal developmental phase. Ensure the crib is safe (no hard edges or gaps) and try not to draw too much attention to it, as reacting strongly can reinforce the behavior.
Toddlers may bang their head or hit themselves during tantrums, when frustrated, when in pain (such as teething or ear infections), or as a continued self-soothing behavior at bedtime. During tantrums, head banging is a way of expressing intense emotions that the toddler cannot yet verbalize. Stay calm, ensure your child is in a safe environment, and do not give excessive attention to the behavior. If your child is head banging during tantrums, acknowledge their emotions and help them learn other ways to cope. The behavior usually resolves by age 3-4.
What Should You Do?
When to take action
- Rhythmic head banging at bedtime that lasts less than 15-20 minutes
- Head banging during tantrums in a child who is otherwise developing normally
- Your child does not seem to be in pain from the head banging
- The behavior started between 6-24 months and is not intensifying
- Head banging is frequent and lasting a long time (more than 20-30 minutes)
- Your child seems to be injuring themselves from the banging
- Head banging is accompanied by developmental delays or concerns
- The behavior is increasing in frequency or intensity rather than decreasing
- Head banging continues past age 3-4
- Your child is hitting their head hard enough to cause visible injury (bruising, swelling, or skin breaks)
- Head banging is accompanied by significant developmental regression
- Head banging seems related to pain (check ears for infection)
- Your child is not responsive or seems dazed after head banging episodes
Sources
Related Resources
Related Behavior Concerns
Toddler Tantrums and Meltdowns
Tantrums are a completely normal and expected part of development, peaking between ages 1.5 and 3. They happen because the emotional centers of your toddler's brain are developing faster than the parts that control reasoning and impulse regulation. On average, toddlers have one tantrum per day, and each typically lasts 2-15 minutes.
My Toddler Is Aggressive Toward Pets
Toddlers being rough with pets is extremely common and almost never reflects true aggression or cruelty. Young children lack the motor control to be consistently gentle and do not yet understand that animals feel pain the way they do. With patient, consistent teaching about gentle touch and close supervision, most toddlers learn to interact safely with pets by age 3-4.
My Baby Doesn't Seem Attached to Anyone
By 7-9 months, most babies show clear preferences for their primary caregivers and some wariness of unfamiliar people. If your baby seems equally comfortable with everyone and shows no distress when separated from caregivers, it may simply reflect an easy-going temperament. However, if combined with other social differences, it can occasionally warrant further discussion with your pediatrician.
Baby Arching Back and Crying During Feeding
A baby who arches their back and cries during feeding is often showing signs of discomfort. The most common cause is gastroesophageal reflux (GER) - stomach acid flowing back into the esophagus causes a burning sensation, and the baby arches to try to relieve it. Other causes include an improper latch (breastfeeding), a bottle nipple with too fast or too slow a flow, ear infection pain worsened by swallowing, oral thrush, or being overstimulated. If this is happening regularly, discuss it with your pediatrician.
My Baby Arches Their Back
Back arching is very common in babies and usually a normal way of expressing frustration, discomfort, or just stretching and moving. Most babies arch their backs when upset, tired, or trying to see something. However, persistent arching with crying, especially during feeding, can be a sign of reflux or discomfort that should be discussed with your pediatrician.
Baby Flat Affect - Limited Facial Expressions or Emotions
Babies should show a range of facial expressions from early infancy. A social smile (smiling in response to a face or voice) typically appears by 6-8 weeks. By 3-4 months, most babies are expressive - smiling, laughing, frowning, and showing surprise. A baby who consistently shows limited facial expressions, rarely smiles, and does not seem to react emotionally to their environment should be evaluated. While some babies are naturally more serious or observant, persistent flat affect can be an early sign of developmental differences, sensory issues, or, rarely, medical conditions.