Toddler Has Difficulty Taking Turns
Medically reviewed by Dr. Emily Torres, PhD, CCC-SLP · Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist
Content reviewed against published AAP, CDC, Zero to Three guidelines
Last reviewed:
Behavioral development varies greatly from child to child. If you have noticed toddler has difficulty taking turns, here is what you need to know.
The short answer
Turn-taking is a skill that develops gradually between ages 2 and 4. Toddlers are naturally egocentric and find waiting very difficult. By age 3, most children can take simple turns with support, and by 4 to 5, they can take turns more independently. Difficulty with turn-taking is very common and does not necessarily indicate a problem unless it persists well past age 4.
Key takeaways
- Turn-taking is a skill that develops gradually between ages 2 and 4. Toddlers are naturally egocentric and find waiting very difficult. By age 3, most children can take simple turns with support, and by 4 to 5, they can take turns more independently. Difficulty with turn-taking is very common and does not necessarily indicate a problem unless it persists well past age 4.
- Usually normal when: Your toddler is under 3 and has difficulty waiting for turns
- Call your doctor if: Your child is over 4 with severe turn-taking difficulty combined with inability to play cooperatively, follow rules, or engage with peers
- Varies by age — see the age-by-age breakdown below
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What Parents Should Know
According to AAP, CDC, Zero to Three guidelines, turn-taking is a skill that develops gradually between ages 2 and 4. Toddlers are naturally egocentric and find waiting very difficult. By age 3, most children can take simple turns with support, and by 4 to 5, they can take turns more independently. Difficulty with turn-taking is very common and does not necessarily indicate a problem unless it persists well past age 4. At 12-18 months, turn-taking begins in simple back-and-forth games like rolling a ball. True turn-taking in play with peers is not yet expected. It is generally considered normal when your toddler is under 3 and has difficulty waiting for turns. However, you should contact your pediatrician promptly if your child is over 4 with severe turn-taking difficulty combined with inability to play cooperatively, follow rules, or engage with peers.
Normal vs. Concerning
By Age
What to expect by age
12-18 months
Turn-taking begins in simple back-and-forth games like rolling a ball. True turn-taking in play with peers is not yet expected.
18-24 months
Turn-taking remains very challenging. Toddlers want things now and find waiting nearly impossible. With adult support, they can practice simple taking-turns games.
24-36 months
Turn-taking improves with practice and adult guidance. Children begin to understand "your turn, my turn" but need frequent reminders. Meltdowns when waiting are still common.
3-4 years
Most children can take turns in structured games with prompting. Independent turn-taking with peers is emerging. Difficulty at this age is still quite common.
4-5 years
Turn-taking should be reasonably well-developed. Children wait their turn in games, conversation, and group activities. Persistent severe difficulty may indicate impulse control or social skill challenges.
What to Tell Your Pediatrician
- Describe when you first noticed toddler has difficulty taking turns and how it has changed over time.
- Note your baby's current age and which age-specific patterns you are seeing.
- Mention if your child is over 4 and cannot take turns even with support and prompting.
- Mention if your child becomes extremely distressed or aggressive when required to wait.
- Let your doctor know if you have noticed any related concerns, such as changes in feeding, sleep, or movement patterns.
- Bring a list of any questions or observations you want to discuss at the appointment.
What Should You Do?
When to take action
- Your toddler is under 3 and has difficulty waiting for turns
- Your toddler can take turns with adult scaffolding but not independently
- Your toddler takes turns in some games but not others
- Your toddler is improving in turn-taking over time
- Your child is over 4 and cannot take turns even with support and prompting
- Your child becomes extremely distressed or aggressive when required to wait
- Difficulty with turn-taking is combined with broader social interaction challenges
- Your child is over 4 with severe turn-taking difficulty combined with inability to play cooperatively, follow rules, or engage with peers
- Turn-taking skills have deteriorated over time
What You Can Do at Home
- Keep track of when you notice toddler has difficulty taking turns — noting the time of day, duration, and any triggers can help your pediatrician.
- Remember that your toddler is under 3 and has difficulty waiting for turns — this is generally within the range of normal.
- At 12-18 months, focus on observation rather than intervention unless your pediatrician advises otherwise.
- Respond consistently and calmly to your baby's behavior. Maintain predictable daily routines.
- While monitoring at home, seek immediate care if your child is over 4 with severe turn-taking difficulty combined with inability to play cooperatively, follow rules, or engage with peers.
Related Conditions
Toddler Won't Cooperate in Play
Cooperative play, where children work together toward a shared goal, typically develops between ages 3 and 5. Toddlers under 3 are not expected to cooperate consistently in play. If your child is over 4 and cannot engage in any cooperative play despite adequate social opportunities, a developmental or behavioral evaluation may help identify underlying challenges.
Toddler Must Control All Play
Some degree of wanting to control play is normal in toddlers, who are naturally egocentric and developing autonomy. However, a child who absolutely cannot allow any deviation from their plan and becomes extremely distressed when others contribute ideas may have difficulty with flexible thinking. This pattern may be temperamental or may be associated with anxiety or developmental differences.
Difficulty with Transitions and Changes
Difficulty with transitions is one of the most common challenges in early childhood. Toddlers live in the present moment and lack the ability to understand "later" or "next," so being pulled away from an enjoyable activity feels like a loss. Their immature prefrontal cortex makes it genuinely hard to shift gears. This is not stubbornness; it is a neurological reality that improves gradually as the brain matures.
Related Resources
Milestone Checklists by Age
Track your baby's developmental milestones from birth to 5 years with age-specific checklists.
Month-by-Month Development
Detailed monthly development guides from birth through 24 months.
When to Call the Doctor
General guide on when to call the pediatrician, visit urgent care, or go to the ER.
Frequently asked questions
Is toddler has difficulty taking turns normal?
When should I call the doctor about toddler has difficulty taking turns?
When is toddler has difficulty taking turns normal?
What causes toddler has difficulty taking turns?
What should I mention to my pediatrician about toddler has difficulty taking turns?
Is toddler has difficulty taking turns normal at 12-18 months?
Is toddler has difficulty taking turns normal at 18-24 months?
Should I go to the ER for toddler has difficulty taking turns?
Does toddler has difficulty taking turns go away on its own?
References
- [1]American Academy of Pediatrics. Social Development in Preschoolers. AAP
- [2]Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Positive Parenting Tips. CDC
- [3]Zero to Three. Sharing and Turn-Taking. Zero to Three
Doctor Visit Checklist
Bring this checklist to your next pediatrician visit to discuss Toddler Has Difficulty Taking Turns.
Things to mention
- Describe when you first noticed toddler has difficulty taking turns and how it has changed over time.
- Note your baby's current age and which age-specific patterns you are seeing.
- Mention if your child is over 4 and cannot take turns even with support and prompting.
- Mention if your child becomes extremely distressed or aggressive when required to wait.
- Let your doctor know if you have noticed any related concerns, such as changes in feeding, sleep, or movement patterns.
- Bring a list of any questions or observations you want to discuss at the appointment.
Observations to share
- Your child is over 4 and cannot take turns even with support and prompting
- Your child becomes extremely distressed or aggressive when required to wait
- Difficulty with turn-taking is combined with broader social interaction challenges
Urgent signs to report immediately
- Your child is over 4 with severe turn-taking difficulty combined with inability to play cooperatively, follow rules, or engage with peers
- Turn-taking skills have deteriorated over time
My notes
From ismybabyalright.com — free, evidence-based baby health guides
All content follows our editorial policy and is reviewed against published clinical guidelines.
2,705 evidence-based guides6 authoritative medical sources5 medical advisory board members
Related Resources
Bottom line
Most cases of toddler has difficulty taking turns are normal. Talk to your pediatrician if your child is over 4 with severe turn-taking difficulty combined with inability to play cooperatively, follow rules, or engage with peers.
Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, reach out to your pediatrician. Worrying about your baby means you care — that is a good thing.
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Related Behavior Concerns
Toddler Won't Cooperate in Play
Cooperative play, where children work together toward a shared goal, typically develops between ages 3 and 5. Toddlers under 3 are not expected to cooperate consistently in play. If your child is over 4 and cannot engage in any cooperative play despite adequate social opportunities, a developmental or behavioral evaluation may help identify underlying challenges.
Toddler Must Control All Play
Some degree of wanting to control play is normal in toddlers, who are naturally egocentric and developing autonomy. However, a child who absolutely cannot allow any deviation from their plan and becomes extremely distressed when others contribute ideas may have difficulty with flexible thinking. This pattern may be temperamental or may be associated with anxiety or developmental differences.
Difficulty with Transitions and Changes
Difficulty with transitions is one of the most common challenges in early childhood. Toddlers live in the present moment and lack the ability to understand "later" or "next," so being pulled away from an enjoyable activity feels like a loss. Their immature prefrontal cortex makes it genuinely hard to shift gears. This is not stubbornness; it is a neurological reality that improves gradually as the brain matures.
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