Toddler Being Bullied at Daycare
The short answer
True bullying — intentional, repeated aggression toward a specific target — is uncommon before age 3-4 because toddlers lack the social sophistication for deliberate, targeted behavior. What looks like "bullying" in toddlers is usually impulsive aggression (biting, hitting, pushing) that is part of normal but challenging developmental behavior. However, if your child is repeatedly targeted by the same child or seems fearful of attending daycare, the situation needs to be addressed with caregivers regardless of the label.
Parents everywhere have the same worry. You are doing the right thing by looking into it.
By Age
What to expect by age
0-3 months
Not applicable. Babies in group care at this age are not mobile enough to have peer aggression concerns.
3-6 months
Babies in group care may accidentally be grabbed or rolled on by older mobile infants. Daycare staff should maintain appropriate ratios and supervise closely.
6-12 months
As babies become mobile, grabbing, hair-pulling, and biting (often during teething) are common. These behaviors are not intentional aggression but rather exploration and frustration. Good daycare programs supervise closely and redirect these behaviors consistently.
12 months+
Toddler aggression peaks between 18 months and 3 years. Biting, hitting, and pushing are common in group settings. If your child is frequently on the receiving end, work with daycare staff on a plan. This may include increased supervision, separating certain children during unstructured time, and teaching your child to say "Stop" and find an adult. If staff are dismissive of your concerns, escalate to the director.
What Should You Do?
When to take action
- Your toddler has occasional conflicts with peers at daycare — pushing, toy-grabbing, and even biting are common at this age
- The daycare communicates incidents to you and has clear strategies for managing aggression
- Your child continues to enjoy daycare overall despite occasional conflicts
- The aggressive behavior is not targeted — different children are involved at different times
- Your child is being repeatedly targeted by the same child and the daycare's interventions are not resolving the situation
- Your child is showing behavioral changes — reluctance to attend daycare, increased anxiety, sleep disruption, or aggression at home — that you believe are related to peer interactions at daycare
- Your child has recurrent bite marks, bruises, or injuries from daycare and you feel the supervision is inadequate
- Your child has a significant injury from another child that requires medical attention, such as a bite that breaks skin, a head injury, or an eye injury
- You suspect your child is being mistreated by a caregiver rather than (or in addition to) a peer — unexplained injuries, fearfulness of specific adults, or sudden behavioral changes require immediate investigation
Sources
Related Resources
Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, reach out to your pediatrician.
Worrying about your baby means you care. That is a good thing.
Related Behavior Concerns
Toddler Exclusion by Peers
Peer exclusion in toddlers and young preschoolers is often a normal part of early social development rather than true bullying. Children ages 2-4 are still learning social skills and may exclude others unintentionally as they form early play partnerships. Some exclusion is also related to developmental differences in play style — a child who is still in parallel play may seem excluded from more interactive peers. Persistent, targeted exclusion warrants attention, but occasional exclusion is part of learning social navigation.
Aggressive Play vs Normal Play
Rough-and-tumble play — wrestling, chasing, play-fighting, and superhero battles — is a normal and important part of child development, particularly for toddlers and preschoolers. It helps children develop physical coordination, social skills, self-regulation, and an understanding of boundaries. The key distinction between normal rough play and concerning aggression is whether both children are having fun, there is turn-taking in roles, and no one is intentionally trying to hurt the other.
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