Toddler Being Bullied at Daycare
Content reviewed against published AAP, NIH guidelines
Last reviewed:
Behavioral development varies greatly from child to child. If you have noticed toddler being bullied at daycare, here is what you need to know.
The short answer
True bullying — intentional, repeated aggression toward a specific target — is uncommon before age 3-4 because toddlers lack the social sophistication for deliberate, targeted behavior. What looks like "bullying" in toddlers is usually impulsive aggression (biting, hitting, pushing) that is part of normal but challenging developmental behavior. However, if your child is repeatedly targeted by the same child or seems fearful of attending daycare, the situation needs to be addressed with caregivers regardless of the label.
Key takeaways
- True bullying — intentional, repeated aggression toward a specific target — is uncommon before age 3-4 because toddlers lack the social sophistication for deliberate, targeted behavior. What looks like "bullying" in toddlers is usually impulsive aggression (biting, hitting, pushing) that is part of normal but challenging developmental behavior. However, if your child is repeatedly targeted by the same child or seems fearful of attending daycare, the situation needs to be addressed with caregivers regardless of the label.
- Usually normal when: Your toddler has occasional conflicts with peers at daycare — pushing, toy-grabbing, and even biting are common at this age
- Call your doctor if: Your child has a significant injury from another child that requires medical attention, such as a bite that breaks skin, a head injury, or an eye injury
- Varies by age — see the age-by-age breakdown below
Parents everywhere have the same worry. You are doing the right thing by looking into it.
By Age
What to expect by age
0-3 months
Not applicable. Babies in group care at this age are not mobile enough to have peer aggression concerns.
3-6 months
Babies in group care may accidentally be grabbed or rolled on by older mobile infants. Daycare staff should maintain appropriate ratios and supervise closely.
6-12 months
As babies become mobile, grabbing, hair-pulling, and biting (often during teething) are common. These behaviors are not intentional aggression but rather exploration and frustration. Good daycare programs supervise closely and redirect these behaviors consistently.
12 months+
Toddler aggression peaks between 18 months and 3 years. Biting, hitting, and pushing are common in group settings. If your child is frequently on the receiving end, work with daycare staff on a plan. This may include increased supervision, separating certain children during unstructured time, and teaching your child to say "Stop" and find an adult. If staff are dismissive of your concerns, escalate to the director.
What Should You Do?
When to take action
- Your toddler has occasional conflicts with peers at daycare — pushing, toy-grabbing, and even biting are common at this age
- The daycare communicates incidents to you and has clear strategies for managing aggression
- Your child continues to enjoy daycare overall despite occasional conflicts
- The aggressive behavior is not targeted — different children are involved at different times
- Your child is being repeatedly targeted by the same child and the daycare's interventions are not resolving the situation
- Your child is showing behavioral changes — reluctance to attend daycare, increased anxiety, sleep disruption, or aggression at home — that you believe are related to peer interactions at daycare
- Your child has recurrent bite marks, bruises, or injuries from daycare and you feel the supervision is inadequate
- Your child has a significant injury from another child that requires medical attention, such as a bite that breaks skin, a head injury, or an eye injury
- You suspect your child is being mistreated by a caregiver rather than (or in addition to) a peer — unexplained injuries, fearfulness of specific adults, or sudden behavioral changes require immediate investigation
Doctor Visit Checklist
Bring this checklist to your next pediatrician visit to discuss Toddler Being Bullied at Daycare.
Things to mention
- Your child is being repeatedly targeted by the same child and the daycare's interventions are not resolving the situation
- Your child is showing behavioral changes — reluctance to attend daycare, increased anxiety, sleep disruption, or aggression at home — that you believe are related to peer interactions at daycare
- Your child has recurrent bite marks, bruises, or injuries from daycare and you feel the supervision is inadequate
Observations to share
- Your child is being repeatedly targeted by the same child and the daycare's interventions are not resolving the situation
- Your child is showing behavioral changes — reluctance to attend daycare, increased anxiety, sleep disruption, or aggression at home — that you believe are related to peer interactions at daycare
- Your child has recurrent bite marks, bruises, or injuries from daycare and you feel the supervision is inadequate
Urgent signs to report immediately
- Your child has a significant injury from another child that requires medical attention, such as a bite that breaks skin, a head injury, or an eye injury
- You suspect your child is being mistreated by a caregiver rather than (or in addition to) a peer — unexplained injuries, fearfulness of specific adults, or sudden behavioral changes require immediate investigation
My notes
From ismybabyalright.com — free, evidence-based baby health guides
Related Conditions
Toddler Exclusion by Peers
Peer exclusion in toddlers and young preschoolers is often a normal part of early social development rather than true bullying. Children ages 2-4 are still learning social skills and may exclude others unintentionally as they form early play partnerships. Some exclusion is also related to developmental differences in play style — a child who is still in parallel play may seem excluded from more interactive peers. Persistent, targeted exclusion warrants attention, but occasional exclusion is part of learning social navigation.
Aggressive Play vs Normal Play
Rough-and-tumble play — wrestling, chasing, play-fighting, and superhero battles — is a normal and important part of child development, particularly for toddlers and preschoolers. It helps children develop physical coordination, social skills, self-regulation, and an understanding of boundaries. The key distinction between normal rough play and concerning aggression is whether both children are having fun, there is turn-taking in roles, and no one is intentionally trying to hurt the other.
Daycare Separation Crying Duration
Crying at daycare drop-off is one of the most common experiences for both children and parents, and it is almost always temporary. Most children who cry at drop-off stop within 5-15 minutes after the parent leaves. The adjustment period for new daycare typically lasts 2-4 weeks, though some children take longer. Consistency is key — irregular attendance prolongs the adjustment. A confident, brief goodbye routine helps children learn that you always come back.
Related Resources
Frequently asked questions
Is toddler being bullied at daycare normal?
When should I call the doctor about toddler being bullied at daycare?
When is toddler being bullied at daycare normal?
What causes toddler being bullied at daycare?
What should I mention to my pediatrician about toddler being bullied at daycare?
Is toddler being bullied at daycare normal at 0-3 months?
Is toddler being bullied at daycare normal at 3-6 months?
Should I go to the ER for toddler being bullied at daycare?
Does toddler being bullied at daycare go away on its own?
References
All content follows our editorial policy and is reviewed against published clinical guidelines.
2,705 evidence-based guides6 authoritative medical sources
Related Resources
Bottom line
Most cases of toddler being bullied at daycare are normal. Talk to your pediatrician if your child has a significant injury from another child that requires medical attention, such as a bite that breaks skin, a head injury, or an eye injury.
Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, reach out to your pediatrician. Worrying about your baby means you care — that is a good thing.
Was this page helpful?
Related Behavior Concerns
Toddler Exclusion by Peers
Peer exclusion in toddlers and young preschoolers is often a normal part of early social development rather than true bullying. Children ages 2-4 are still learning social skills and may exclude others unintentionally as they form early play partnerships. Some exclusion is also related to developmental differences in play style — a child who is still in parallel play may seem excluded from more interactive peers. Persistent, targeted exclusion warrants attention, but occasional exclusion is part of learning social navigation.
Aggressive Play vs Normal Play
Rough-and-tumble play — wrestling, chasing, play-fighting, and superhero battles — is a normal and important part of child development, particularly for toddlers and preschoolers. It helps children develop physical coordination, social skills, self-regulation, and an understanding of boundaries. The key distinction between normal rough play and concerning aggression is whether both children are having fun, there is turn-taking in roles, and no one is intentionally trying to hurt the other.
Daycare Separation Crying Duration
Crying at daycare drop-off is one of the most common experiences for both children and parents, and it is almost always temporary. Most children who cry at drop-off stop within 5-15 minutes after the parent leaves. The adjustment period for new daycare typically lasts 2-4 weeks, though some children take longer. Consistency is key — irregular attendance prolongs the adjustment. A confident, brief goodbye routine helps children learn that you always come back.
Bonding and Attachment Timeline for Adopted Babies
Bonding with an adopted baby is a real and achievable process, but it may follow a different timeline than biological bonding. Many adoptive parents feel a strong connection quickly, while for others it develops gradually over weeks or months. Consistent, responsive caregiving is the single most important factor in building secure attachment, regardless of how your family was formed.
My Toddler Is Aggressive Toward Pets
Toddlers being rough with pets is extremely common and almost never reflects true aggression or cruelty. Young children lack the motor control to be consistently gentle and do not yet understand that animals feel pain the way they do. With patient, consistent teaching about gentle touch and close supervision, most toddlers learn to interact safely with pets by age 3-4.
AI Deepfakes and Your Baby's Photos - Protecting Your Child Online
AI technology has created a new risk for children's photos shared online. NCMEC received over 1.5 million tips related to AI-generated child exploitation material in 2025 - a 2,000% increase from the previous year. Parents' innocent photos of children are being scraped from social media to train AI models or manipulated into harmful content. This does not mean you can never share photos of your child, but it does mean taking precautions: limiting audience, avoiding full-face images in public posts, stripping metadata, and understanding that once a photo is online, you lose control of it.