Baby Colic and Excessive Crying
The short answer
Colic is defined by the Wessel criteria or "rule of 3s" - crying for more than 3 hours per day, more than 3 days per week, for more than 3 weeks in an otherwise healthy, well-fed infant. It affects about 1 in 5 babies, typically begins around 2-3 weeks of age, peaks at 6-8 weeks, and almost always resolves by 3-4 months. It is not caused by anything you are doing wrong.
By Age
What to expect by age
Newborns generally cry 1-2 hours per day, which is normal. Colic has not typically set in yet at this stage. If your newborn seems to cry excessively in the first two weeks, it is important to rule out hunger, pain, illness, or feeding difficulties. Contact your pediatrician if your newborn seems inconsolable, especially if they have a fever, are not feeding, or seem unwell.
This is when colic typically begins. Crying often follows a pattern - it tends to worsen in the late afternoon and evening (sometimes called the "witching hour"), is intense and high-pitched, and your baby may clench their fists, pull up their legs, or become red in the face. The baby is healthy, feeding well, and gaining weight normally between crying episodes. This is the hallmark of colic.
Peak colic territory. Crying may reach 3 or more hours per day. This period is genuinely one of the hardest things parents go through, and it is okay to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or even angry. If you feel you are reaching your limit, it is always safe to put your baby down in a safe place (like their crib) and step away for a few minutes to collect yourself. This is not failure - it is smart parenting.
The vast majority of colic resolves by 3-4 months of age, and almost all cases resolve by 5 months. You may notice that the evening crying episodes gradually become shorter and less intense. If excessive, inconsolable crying persists beyond 4-5 months, or if your baby seems to be in pain during crying, talk to your pediatrician to explore other possible causes such as reflux, food intolerance, or other medical conditions.
What Should You Do?
When to take action
- Your baby cries for extended periods but is otherwise healthy, feeding well, gaining weight, and having normal wet and dirty diapers
- Crying follows a predictable pattern, often peaking in the late afternoon or evening
- Your baby is between 2 weeks and 4 months old and the crying fits the "rule of 3s" pattern
- Your baby can be briefly soothed by motion, white noise, swaddling, or a pacifier, even if the crying returns
- Between crying episodes, your baby is calm, alert, and behaving normally
- You are struggling to cope with the crying and need support or reassurance - your well-being matters too, and your pediatrician wants to help
- Crying is accompanied by frequent spitting up, arching the back, or refusing to feed, which could suggest gastroesophageal reflux
- Your baby has signs of a possible food sensitivity such as blood or mucus in stools, especially if breastfed
- Colic-like crying continues beyond 4-5 months without improvement
- Your baby has a fever (100.4F/38C or higher rectally) in addition to crying, especially if under 3 months - this always needs same-day evaluation
- Your baby is vomiting forcefully (not just spitting up), has a distended or hard belly, or has blood in their stool
- You feel you might harm your baby or yourself - call your pediatrician, a crisis line (988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline), or go to your nearest emergency room immediately. Putting your baby in a safe place and walking away is always okay.
Sources
Related Resources
Related Behavior Concerns
My Toddler Is Aggressive Toward Pets
Toddlers being rough with pets is extremely common and almost never reflects true aggression or cruelty. Young children lack the motor control to be consistently gentle and do not yet understand that animals feel pain the way they do. With patient, consistent teaching about gentle touch and close supervision, most toddlers learn to interact safely with pets by age 3-4.
My Baby Doesn't Seem Attached to Anyone
By 7-9 months, most babies show clear preferences for their primary caregivers and some wariness of unfamiliar people. If your baby seems equally comfortable with everyone and shows no distress when separated from caregivers, it may simply reflect an easy-going temperament. However, if combined with other social differences, it can occasionally warrant further discussion with your pediatrician.
My Baby Arches Their Back
Back arching is very common in babies and usually a normal way of expressing frustration, discomfort, or just stretching and moving. Most babies arch their backs when upset, tired, or trying to see something. However, persistent arching with crying, especially during feeding, can be a sign of reflux or discomfort that should be discussed with your pediatrician.
My Baby Grinds Their Teeth
Teeth grinding (bruxism) is surprisingly common in babies and toddlers, affecting up to 30% of young children. Most children grind their teeth as they explore their new teeth or self-soothe, and the vast majority outgrow it completely by age 6 with no lasting damage to their teeth.
Baby Not Playing Independently
Needing a lot of parental interaction during play is completely normal for babies and young toddlers. Independent play is a skill that develops gradually, and expecting too much too soon can backfire. Most babies under 12 months genuinely need your presence to feel safe enough to explore. By 18-24 months, short stretches of independent play (5-15 minutes) begin to emerge, gradually lengthening through the toddler years. Your child is not spoiled or overly dependent - they are doing exactly what developing brains are designed to do.
My Baby Only Wants One Parent
Parent preference is one of the most common and emotionally painful behaviors in babies and toddlers. It is a completely normal part of attachment development and is not a reflection of who is the "better" parent. Babies and toddlers typically cycle through phases of preferring one parent, and the "rejected" parent's consistent, loving presence during these phases actually strengthens their bond over time.